I think I am kind of settling into the routine now. The days seem long at certain points of the day but very short at other times. I wish I did not have to spend so much time commuting. It feels like a criminal waste of time. because I am sleep starved all the time, reading is not an option on the train. Even the morning newspaper puts me to sleep. The DLR (train) is nice to travel in without doing anything. i stare at the river below me and it is a lovely way to start the morning. But the Underground is more uncomfortable. if you are not sleeping/ reading or listening to music you only have one option left- stare listlessly at the advertisements, which btw I know by heart now, or look at how the lady next to you applies her foundation. The time with Z is the most precious of all. I could look at him the whole day. It is love I have never known before. So many things make sense now and so many things don't. It would nice to have a nice relaxing holiday. Like go off to some island which is warm and quiet. Just spend the days doing nothing and taking long walks along a shore. There are so many things I want to show Z, but I need to wait until he grows up. That is it for now. More later. p.s- for some weird reason the paragraph splits are not shown in the published post. Wonder why. Very irritating.